Filling the spaces that are left blank

How complicated are situations. When we break away from your daily schedule, and meet strange old and new friends, how situations unravel themselves, and how conversations take tun and twist. All that you wonder is how am I here?

But then at the same time, these new twisting conversations also make you compel to answer, what often we don't even talk to ourselves, rather shy away from there. Well! If its about how does it help you, then not really much, but makes you more open for the next set of conversations with strange new people whom you may call as friends.

In between these conversations, some times your lost in the nostalgic past. Or we tour ourselves with the amazing past we had, rather we even peep in to our bedroom scenes which have become chapters of history. And then you remember the bitter sweet memories of some other love, in another moment. When we are lost with the going on situations, we often tend to transcend ourselves on a flight of nostalgia and some times even past epics.

Some times you just need to let your hair down, and immerse in the moment, then however strange it may be. Just like listening to a nostalgic song, that evokes the empty spaces devoid of love and hold a strangers hand, the entwined fingers, and the warmth of little happiness if not love actually.

Why do new people, tend to take us to our past? Or is it that we are trying to look for our past in the present? Or is it just that we need someone, who can fill the spaces that past left unfilled. I guess it is the latter one, atleast on a positive note, filling the empty space with love and serenity. Which at this stage seems devoid of all that we yearn for unconditional love.
But then along with these, there is also the heart that physically beats and actually vacillates from feelings and fringes. It has been hurt and ruined, whenever it tried to accommodate anyone in it. People stayed for some time, made an Utopian world in it, and even destroyed the world, with pain and agony. Is this heart that after hard efforts forgotten the Utopian world, creating another one or has dreamt for one? But, is even scared what if blank spaces widen themselves in the hope of filling them and what if, history recreates those chapters with more pages at length. The struggle of love, friendship and relations that we cannot name, vacillate, interact, and conflict among themselves when we meet new strange people.

And certain questions that eventually pop up. Do I still love that person? Will these people too, just misjudge me? Will I ever find some one to fill those spaces? Or is even the move to fill those spaces incorrect? And All I do is unwrap the chocolate which the person whom I loved the most gave me months back, and I look at it, thinking about him, and people whom I just met!
On a good note……..I still hope that spaces will be filled and love will blossom

The Paradox of Life

Certainly life is so simple at times, for a long time it remains stable and suddenly with an entry of a person, creates ripples, waves and further even ruptures. Sometimes you wish that life would have been better if these ripples never manifested. Although, at the back of mind we all need something pleasant in life but none of us want the dream to become a nightmare. Ripples bring joy and serenity at the same time spoil the usual schedule, which is good for a change, but then sooner these pleasant ripples change in to waves, life gets more disturbing and no time ruptures it upside down, leaving you vulnerable.
Sometimes we just wish we were happy the way we were, stable, unmoved, usual and monotonous. However, that time monotony becomes a pain, and we wait for something to happen, but when that something happens, everything changes. And all we wish is to go back the way we were…….An endless quest to be happy, certainly brings miseries and pain in the never expected form.
Your new friends become more or less strangers, you wish you never had met them. Old friends are never in touch, because when they were, we all wanted better friends than the everyday one’s…………Family gets so irritating at times, and when you have no one around us we yearn for them. Childhood had so many boundaries and we wanted to grow up fast, and when we are grown we wish we were always children. ……we are always caught up between the past memoirs and the future comings, making the present dangle in between.
We always wish for more joys, and once we lose it, we have more sorrows to deal with. And then with nostalgic feelings, immerse ourselves in the past with smaller joys but also with it smaller problems to tackle with. A success that is small, however satisfactory now, because in the search of bigger success, we lost many smaller joys on our journey, leaving the past, staking present in anticipation of successful future.
The chirping of the birds in the morning, the smell of the early rising earth, the breakfast with all, friends that never left is alone, studies that were really not so irritating as we thought of them then, stupid parties, rubbish jokes, non stop laughter, bare feet on the sand, gazing at the horizon, making castles in sand, tickling and poking, funny little games and eventually dancing in the rain……………..what of it do I do now?
Busy mornings, skipping breakfast, herd of beings, wave of labour, crowded trains, traffic jams, earphones and endless thoughts , booze and fall over, with a hangover, third class cinema, irritating idiot box, running like the hands of clock as of life will stop, friends that ditch us, colleagues that bitch about us, all we know yet we maintain a plastic smile…………. Eventually the mask gets suffocating and the only way of escaping is nothing else but driving in the nostalgic past, when life was not so fast, and we actually lived life, although now were merely exist like the animal world, merely satisfying biological needs…… and I wonder how far is that even true……..skipping meals, genetically modified food, impure water, ugly fruits, no time to rest, not enough sleep, vulnerable sex that often turns out to be bad, ……………are we then reduced to mere machines, if not even animals????????????
The paradox of life, is that life is no more life!
Home is no more home, friends are no more friends, love is no more love, and I guess I’m not what I really am………..
Did I loose myself on this journey of illusions or was I compelled to loose myself?
All I know is that my path is of love and will continue to follow it, however dark the world gets, and however painful are the thorns……… I will still continue to walk the path of love, this is what I’m, this is what gives meaning to my existence, making it a LIFE!
lets listen to chirping of birds again. Lets build castles, lets get our childhood friends back, lets just sleep well, lets sing as bad as we can, lets swing again, Let us Live again!